What's So Bad About Kissing?

The other day I had the opportunity to explain to another person why I've made the commitment I have. Sometimes in conversations the question comes up, "How long has it been since you kissed someone?" Everyone throws out "a week" or "a month" or however long it's been. In the silence that follows, I grin and chime in, "19 months!" I'm getting close to 2 years and I'm pretty proud of myself. :)

On Friday I was having dinner with on old friend when that question came up. He asked me why in the world I wasn't kissing anyone anymore. After all, what's the harm in kissing? Most people don't think much of it. Some people don't even define it as cheating (I certainly don't rank in that category, but those people are entitled to their opinions, too). It's hardly even considered intimate anymore. People kiss on dares. People kiss on first dates. I have some girl friends who have kissed nearly all their guy friends. Kissing has become so cheapened. Hence why I am withholding my lips. Waiting for something makes it more special. When I finally get to kiss the man of my dreams, it's going to be far beyond "special"!

I know that most people my age gave up their first kisses long ago. It's hard to even find college-age virgins anymore. Young adults are applauded for holding out this long. But saving sex for marriage and allowing anything else by is barely achieving the minimum of purity. I've always been an overachiever, so maybe that's why I find myself questioning this minimalist attitude. If remaining a virgin is passing the test, that's like a C grade. I don't like Cs. I like As (I can imagine all my friends rolling their eyes right now). I realize that the man I fall in love with will likely have kissed a number of girls. That’s just the way it is. But anyone who is close to me knows that the lower the number of “conquests” (so to speak), the higher my respect is for that person. All my friends who remain un-kissed (or kissed by few) have received high-fives or that I-am-so-impressed-with-you look. So if I want my man’s number to be as low as possible, shouldn’t I return that favor? I can’t change the past, but I can change the future.

Even if he doesn’t care how many other guys I’ve kissed, I care. When I am with someone, I don’t want memories of those who have gone before. So maybe my first kiss with Guy X was more romantic than my first kiss with Guy Y. I don’t want to have that comparison going on in my head. The man in my life deserves my undivided attention and my undivided heart. It is selfish of me to give out little pieces of my heart with each snog. The gratification in the here and now is not worth losing the peace, joy, and closeness in the future. And don’t you think he’ll feel special that at age 19, when my hormones were certainly working, I chose to give up kissing to someday honor a man I’ve never met?